I don't know if you'll believe it...

...even when we tell you about it. If someone had told me at 7 p.m. what the next several hours had in store, I would have laughed.

Maybe Kyle or Windy can wax more eloquently or humorously about it tomorrow. For now, here's the summary:

crash, trash, yell, cry, barf, and lots of other things involving barf.

Happy $#$%^%@!*& New Year.



OK-Kyle here.

It goes like this (still a shortened version), chronologically, starting at about 4PM:

1. Kyle and Mark are going riding for a few hours on New Years, so Mark really has to scramble to find a trailer in the late afternoon because everyone is out, or closing early for the holiday.
2. Windy and Heidi go to Smart and Final for food.
3. Windy and Heidi come home, and Windy is mad because her debit card was publicly denied for a second day in a row at a cash register. Windy doesn't like to be embarrassed. I made the mistake of asking if she was using the right card. "Yes" is the polite version of the answer.
4. Mark needs to scramble to get his car from the dealer for a $1000 repair, and get the trailer-in the next hour. I need to go to the bank on New Year's Eve to see what the heck is going on with Windy's card and am no longer able to help Mark, so Heidi takes him.
5. Windy was not using the right card. The card she used was attached to a "dummy" account we use for traveling in sketchy places like Russia and Cambodia. Problem fixed.
6. Mark comes back. Trailer in tow. $1000 repair covered by warranty. Looks like this is going to be a nice casual evening at home.
7. Jalapeno poppers are really lame. Heidi and Windy are not impressed. They used Jack instead of cream cheese.
8. Mark and Kyle are in the garage playing with the bikes when Jordan crashes into Mark's fairly new car. Heidi had parked from the trip to the dealer and hung the car over the driveway. Black car poorly parked+night+Jordan=at least $2000 repair.
9. Heidi cleaned the day before and it looks like she threw away away the brand new overflow valve that Mark needs to go riding.
10. Heidi thinks she threw the small item away.
11. Heidi, Mark and Kyle put on latex gloves and spread the outside trashcan all over the driveway and begin sorting.
12. Just as Kyle finishes the last item, Mark emerges victoriously from the house. He found it in a cupboard! Kyle laughs.
13. Heidi and Kyle get into one of their semi famous, semi annual arguments. The ones that make everyone awkward, or stressed, except Kyle, who just wants clarity.
14. Next two hours go by fine. Not really awkward, or tense-but certainly not festive. Except the kids-they were festive. Too festive.
15. 11PM Heath looks a little rough. Big bags under his eyes and shutting down. "Heath, buddy, it's ok if you don't make it to midnight. 11PM is really good for your first try, why don't you cuddle with mom?"
16. 11:15. Windy asks me to transport Heath to the bed. He says he's tired and doesn't feel well.
17. Windy falls asleep at 11:45, and has a really hard time waking up for her kiss at midnight.
18. Petrie's and Mark go to bed for the big ride in the morning. Getting up at 4:30, after all.
19. 1:30 AM "Kyle! Windy! Heath just barfed on Cade's head. They're still asleep."
20. You would need an abacus to count the number dry heaves that occurred after Cade woke up and realized that he had puke chunks on his face and head, and Kyle, Windy, Heidi, Jordan, and Jacob tried to clean/avoid the smell and chunks EVERYWHERE!
21. Kyle and Mark did not get up in time to go riding.